I've been running a thread on the Building a Home forum that substantially repeats this thread and refers to our FAQ. The issue of private versus public albums on Photobucket came up (I thought the whole album had to be public to allow you to link to it without a password). aa62579 says that you can link to a specific photo in a private album and that link will be visible. You just can't link to the whole private album and see it without a password. I've never used Photobucket so I'm asking the question of those of you who are familiar with sites such as Photobucket, Picasa, PictureTrail, etc.. Is this a general characteristic of all web-hosting sites? I'd like to add this information to the FAQ. Thanks, Claire

Thank you all for your comments (except for vhehn - seriously, if you want to tell me I'm an idiot (or, conversely, that you are the smartest person in the world), why hide it, just tell me you think I'm a moron and be done with it. You don't know me, and you assume that I'm throwing away perfectly good (and hard-earned, mind you) money because I'm a d*mb*ss. If gloating in front of someone who's down is the way you roll, I'm so glad I don't know you in person.) - 15 hours after the initial discovery of "OMG, it's happened again" (and the resulting pit in our stomaches), our anger and sadness has mellowed a bit, abut we're both intent on salvaging this situation in a professional and drama-free manner. I probably haven't chewed on the situation enough, but after digesting your comments and putting all the pieces together, I'm inclined to do the following: 1) wait for her response (except I really really really want/need to know if we submitted, and/or if we're submitting on Monday, omg......), 2) unless there's a fantastic reason why Friday didn't go as agreed, request an off-site coffee meeting with the architect and synthesize your comments in to a conversation that says, basically: look, we think you're a really talented architect [she is!], but it's clear you're extremely busy, and maybe too busy to devote the type and timing of attention on our project that we need. It's causing us a lot of unnecessary stress and heartburn, especially this early in what we know will be a stressful year and a half [between the rest of planning and the build]. We see a couple of good solutions: a) now that you know how difficult the slipping of schedule has been on not only the timing of our project but on us personally, if you'd like to continue working on our project, we'd like to continue working with you, but we need hard milestones. [and then discuss the milestones, timing, etc....maybe these need to be in writing.....]. 2) if you're just too busy and don't see that changing, we'd be disappointed but would be willing to transfer the plans to another architect to complete - do you have any that you'd recommend? How do we properly transfer the plans? As you can tell, I do soft-pedal rather than throw blame in situations like this - I'm very willing to be firm, but it needs to be in my own voice, and unfortunately (I guess), that's my voice when dealing with people that I actually like (err, you "heard" my other voice above, when responding to others!). chisue - thank you for understanding, and yes, she's licensed, has a nice boutique business, and is actually really talented. she just sucks as client service. We found her as a referral from a neighbor who has (in our opinion) the prettiest new build in the neighborhood - we live in a 50's era rancher town on quarter acre lots in a part of the country where that's considered really big - most of the Bay Area is on 4000-5000 sq ft lots). To his credit, he DID warn us that while she's a terrific architect, she'd be "tough to get a hold of, as she's very busy" (maybe that was neighbor-code for "she'll miss every deadline"). dixiedoodle - agreed, I'm not planning on getting any $ back, so that's not what I'm after. Actually, for the $ we've paid thus far, we ((heart)) the house plan. Yes, in hindsight, the comments that translate to "they're more important than you" are, at best, inappropriate. At the time(s), it seemed more like casual chit-chat. feedingfrenzy, sue36 and sovra - thank you all - your comments and thoughts are the basis for the planned conversation. We actually *would* like her to see the plans through, just need to figure out how to tell her that we can't continue this way, it's too painful. I will go post this in Conversations to see in M-A has additional thoughts. What do you all think of the planned conversation, and how would you tweak it?

"1) While the pantry is nicely convenient to the formal dining room, it is a heck of a long hike from the garage. I calculate that from the entry by the mud room to the pantry door, it is nearly 60 feet by the closest path. Unloading groceries every week will be a major chore. That by itself would be a deal breaker for me." The front door will be much closer to the drive so we planned on using the front parking to unload the groceries unless it's raining in which case we'll just have to walk. "2)At 6 ft wide, the master bedroom closet is too narrow to hang garments along both sides. If it could be widened by 8 to 12 inches, you would almost double your usable storage space." I didn't realize that and I'll make the changes. "3)The master bedroom is not going to get ANY natural light. Some people like a dark bedroom. I prefer having the growing daylight wake me in the mornings." My wife and I discussed this. We don't spend much awake time in our MBR and would prefer a dark bedroom and bright bathroom. For what it's worth, the windows in the MBR will be facing southeast so morning light will filter into the room. We'll probably end up shrinking the MBR a bit also since we don't ever watch TV in the MBR and only need space for the bed and dressers. "4) It seems like there is a lot of wasted space in the masterbath. And, when I "gotta go" in the middle of the night, I wouldn't want to have to hike clear around the shower to reach the WC." I agree with the wasted space. I'm hoping I can take away approx 1' between the shower and bath. I may also change the arrangement of the sinks and the vanity because the space above the bath looks empty. I may have sinks flanking the tub and then my wife can have a large vanity against the wall. "5) The kitchen window faces a garage wall. Granted, you can look out an an angle but, I'd want to push the entire garage toward the back (left in your image) so that it is out of the way of the kitchen view." Another good point. I'll probably push the garage back until only approx 2'-3' are sticking out. "6) Given the overall size of the house, the family room seems a tad small ... especially if you really plan to have a grand piano in there. Make sure you can fit all your furniture in with plenty of space to walk around it." I asked the designer to draw in a piano just to give an idea of the scale. We probably will place a small baby grand or an upright in the place of the grand as the grand is just too big. I'll also move the mail sort area so that it's just a wall and turn the piano around so the sound fills the room instead of bouncing off the walls. I want our home to have a cottage/family friendly warm feel so a formal grand piano will definitely be out of place. "7) The breakfast nook is too far from the business portion of the kitchen. Since there is more convenient seating at the kitchen island, the nook, pretty as it may be, probably won't get much use." I struggled with this one for awhile. I want the view but I also wanted the eating area to connect with the kitchen. I finally decided to go with the view. The area is named breakfast but a better name would be informal eating area because our family will eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner in that spot and I thought if would be better to have a nice view rather than proximity. If we end up not using it a lot I'll just turn it into a seating/reading area. Originally I didn't want a formal dining but my wife insisted and I'm sure she will use it more than twice a year. "8) If the screened porch will be used by the entire family and by guests then I wouldn't want my bedroom windows or my masterbath windows to open onto the screened porch." My wife had the same concern but I told her we wouldn't be sleeping during these gatherings and we could have blinds on the windows to prevent people from looking into the master bedroom and bathroom. "9) No powderroom to for guests to use??????? Another deal breaker for me." Not a big deal to me but it's just a difference of opinion. I wanted to design this home for a family of 5 so it's going to have a more casual feel. Not much formality so my guests will just have to find the bathroom. They will have privacy when the find it so that counts for something:) "10) Since the secondary bathroom lacks a window, I don't think you'll be able to make it look much like the breezy, light-filled bathroom in your inspiration picture." Yeah I understand and was a little disappointed. I'll probably end up placing a couple of solar tubes and pipe in some light. I know it's not as good but the bright colors will help. Thanks for all the advice! The MBR closet is something I would have regretted since a stinking foot would have made such a big difference.

Beckyg, I love what you said here: "When the kitchen designers and cabinet and appliance makers are telling me to spend 10 - 15% of my home's value on a new kitchen, I automatically cut it in half... it reminds me of how the diamond dealers came up with the idea that a man should spend 2 months salary on a ring - OR ELSE! That's ridiculous. What an arbitrary number." Totally arbitrary, I agree. I specifically told my sweetie that he shouldn't spend more than two WEEKS' salary on my ring, and he didn't. I couldn't stand the stress of walking around with $6000 or $10,000 or whatever on my finger, and there was just no way I could see that it made sense to sink so much money into a piece of jewelry. I guess the reason I'm more okay with the 10% thing on kitchens... ok, well part of it is because our house is worth maybe $270k. Actually I think that's the main reason I'm okay with it! Because 10-15% of MY house corresponds pretty well with the maximum that I think makes sense to spend on a kitchen. Haha. I can't imagine spending $150k on a kitchen. But aside from that, a kitchen--assuming you're going to live in it for a good while--has a much bigger influence on your quality of life than a ring does. The spaces we inhabit really do influence the ways we live--like the poster who talked about molesting her marble (haha) and said her kids used the new island and socialized whereas before they would've retreated to their rooms. It does matter how living spaces are designed and how they look. The way they look and they way they flow and function influences not only how you feel in them, but what you do in them. That's why I am dead set on having a banquette and table in the kitchen instead of the ubiquitous "raised edge of the counter with barstools" that our ex-architect kept pushing. We're planning on having kids soon, and it would be what, six years or more before they'd be big enough to easily use barstools and a raised counter?! Whereas little kids can easily sit on banquettes, space to hold kids' toys can be built into banquettes, AND our friends can sit there too when they're visiting. Space matters!